Deep feelings, deeper wounds

Wishing Well

I want to hang 'round the pumpkin patch
But you dropped down the wishing well
And I haven't had a wish strong enough
To lure you back up
Now everyday's a pillow
That's turning to salt water
And I'm drowning in all of my dreams.

I Want You

In my bare hands
I took a star from out of the sky
She shines through my cupped hands
And flickers in all my jars
They say she's gonna melt on through,
That it's gonna burn me bad.
But what if I could keep her?
What if I could extinguish her flame
And hold her real, real close?

Wouldn't that be nice?

Connect/Collapse/Corpse

We used to touch in the sea
Romantically
We used to keep each other's head up
No, we didn't want to drown
Didn't want to feel the liquid rush past our throats.

Now,
She wants a bouquet
Or even a single stem
But I can't seem to bloom, can't seem to get in tune
I'm not quite sure what to do.
'Cause Abegail, I gave you all my flowers long ago
I don't even know where the fields are anymore
And after you died, my heart was left behind.
I don't know how to use it, I can't seem to make it pump
All of my blood goes past my lungs and onto the floor.

I Could Never Marry a Blonde

I could never marry a blonde
They are too caught up in
Their highlights
No time to focus on love
Can't trust them
No
No way.

I will always fuck a blonde
They dress up real nice
Before you both get undressed
They keep you warm
Sexually
Always fuck them
Yes
Yes way.

Girls with bad tattoos

I've never dated a girl
With cool tattoos
Why did I ever fall for girls who wear their bad choices?

Fresh Rag/Make Up

Abegail I wanted to write you
A dream
Maybe it's one I had about you
Maybe I've made it up
It's a mystery for both of us

In it, we were dancing
The way we used to dance
Real, real close
With your face pressed against my cheek
My skin would quiver all over
Hand in hand, I'd lead the way

Where did you go, Abegail?
I used to think about you all of the time
After you died
But I've seen you in the window
And I've talked to you on the phone
Is someone wearing your voice, your face, your clothes, your beautiful stature?

I've waited for you for so long
I'm sure that I can keep waiting
I'm just not sure that you still like me, want me, want this...

...But right now, Abegail, it's all I've ever wanted. What's going around should come back around again, maybe then you'll be more than a friend.

ACT NOW

I'm feelin' fine, like I'm feelin' the sunshine for the very first time. It used to be that I felt like a carcass, dragged along across the dirt, collecting trash along the way. But baby, I don't want that for me no more: no way. Something tells me I should give it time, but that's never been my style.

Sure, I wanna change, but an old dog just can't learn new tricks and my rules are the only rules I know. Maybe everyone secretly liked me the way I was, the way I am and maybe you'd just want to pick up where we left off and pretend that the last few years never happened.

Imagine that.

Family Tree

I've had my fingers broken
Falling out of that family tree
Tried to plant my own
But it just wouldn't take
The dirt was too poor in the concept of a world with wealth
That's me: fallen from the sky
Rising back up
But it's probably just time
For me to climb something else.

Business Class

I never wanted to share you
But I never wanted
To fucking fancy you either.

Pass Away

If you would embrace me
Maybe I won't pass away
I could hide from Death in your arms
And you could keep me safe in your shade.

I was once a miracle
Now I'm a goddamned cast away
(Reclusive) (Getting high)
Smoking my days and weeks away
Waiting for it, endlessly.

I've triggered a latch
Feeling the sweat of sweet escape
You take your birth control
I'll take my death control.

They tell me if I swallow these lies
I may never pass away
Chemicals sink through my skull
And I melt into the soil
A poison upon the Earth;

I am going to pass away.

Subjective

The ones who say "trust me"
Are the ones who should never be trusted.

So Sorry

I thought there was love
And that she would catch my blood
Yet it spills
Who's truth are you living?
If it was mine
You'd be in my bed
And I'd be in your arms
I like my truth
Better than yours
I wish you did too, kid.

A continuing mission statement.

I've waved this white flag before
But I just want to make sure it's been seen
All I've wanted when I'm not around
Is to be missed
And for someone to be glad that I exist.

Damp

Abegail is asleep in my bed
Wrapped up warm in sheets
In a sea of make believe
With you, love, I never had a choice
Without you, my dearest, I never had a chance
I want to touch her face
But my hand would only go right through
She's just a ghost
A dreamer in a dream world
That I dreamed up myself
I am a daydreamer
Sinking in an ocean of dreams
Drowning because I miss you
Dying because I let you go
Without a very good fight
I will wait forever
But if only you wait forever too.

Cold Sweat

Martyr me
For all of my enemies to see
I walked a mile
Just to dance with the breeze
I'd do a waltz just to feel anything at all
The trumpets play
and the flutes ebb and flow
They soundtrack the danger I've gotten myself into
I'll feel the cold sweat run
and drip down my face
Sometimes it burns real bad
Other times
When the wind will blow upon my skin
On a cold, cold night
It's the only thing that feels "real".
Where are my friends?
Where is my family?
Why are you the only one
Who can save me?

Coda

Your heart is made of stone

Didn't you know mine is too?

"You and I, kid

We're gonna make history."

I believe you, baby doll

And I'll be the first to admit that you scare me real bad

Because you're the very definition of fine art

And with you

Just maybe

I can pull it all off

I could travel to the greenest jungles

Or cross the longest bridges

It's not so hard

My blood used to run like olive oil

And my heart would make me real heated

I'd been broken down, torn apart and rebuilt from the ground up

Because sometimes you've got to start anew

And shed the skin that let you down

"I know a thing or two about that, in all of my years it just hasn't felt like it ever truly worked out."

Until now?

"Until now."

I'm gonna become a gambler

A real god damned betting man

Put it all on the fun we can have

And yeah, I'm moving on

I'm not looking back

Only running fast

Into your arms

Where it's safe

Where I can bury all of my secrets

Because I just don't trust my safe anymore.

"Our hearts are made of stone but our naked skin wrestles softly together, you feel like silk and yeah I can see the years have gotten to you but they've gotten to me too. Nothing else matters when it's me and you."

Nothing else matters when it's just me and you.

Bad timing.

I've traced the sunrise with my fingers

While lying on my back in a sailboat

Floating like driftwood

Into the unknown

Abigail, you've been dead and gone for so long

That I don't even remember your face anymore

I don't know if I'm sad that it's her and not you

Or that maybe I wasn't ready for this at all

I'll roll off the side of this vessel

Let the ocean salt water choke completely

Let it rise throughout my body

And dissipate when it's killed me

My intentions were pure, but my execution came out all wrong.

I thought I'd spend my whole life making it up to you

But then you had passed along.

In the sea, I have no name

In the sea, my face is just a face

No one knows about you, Abigail

No one cares at all

Your replacement will try to save me from my watery grave

The liquid tomb won't say no

I may be dying now, Abigail

But the truth is I died long ago.

Curtains

If I can't have you

I will settle for your understudy.

Dark Passenger

At the grocery store yesterday
I went to collect my purchases
Into a bag
When I saw a lonely one tossed aside
It had lost it's way
And I was caught off guard
Because
I could relate
But I still grabbed one from the rack
Because I was afraid to stray from the norm.

You

I am ending my life with you
It will be shiny and new
I will cough and you will sneeze
Always excusing ourselves
And clearing each other's plates
I don't know what grows in that head of yours
Maybe its the seeds I potted
Deep in the soil of your soul
I just don't know but I can dream
The forrest will always be dark
But we're endlessly carrying flashlights
Scaring away ghosts
And communicating with loving gazes
I will swim in the black if you swim in the blue
Always holding each other; I am ending my life with you.

Our Lives As A Play

Act One:
Everyone asks me if we're married yet
But I can't get you to wear my ring

Interlude:
Once I had it on your finger, but it seemed to somehow slip away. I picked it up from off of the floor, blew the dust off and kept in my pocket to see if you would notice.

But your finger stayed naked.

Act Two:
And your voice that once would greet me
With sugar sweet
"Hello"'s
and
"How are you"'s
Has been replaced with a hate that's rotted all the way through
It hurts my mouth but I bet
You don't feel a thing

Prologue:
The bees sting on the way out
But never when they're in the hive.

Society Under The Electric Blanket

If the batteries keep, we might just stay warm all winter. Spring will have sprung and the hunt for new electric warmth will have begun. I can't shake the feeling that we're all going to freeze the death, but that's probably the bed bugs.

Scab 2

I carry your face with me wherever I go
And that disgusts me.

Grapes

There's an elephant in the room
And I've named him Guilt
He's informed me that I'm not as great as I think I am
That's why everyone has run
And no one will ever
Eat my grapes again.

Question Authority

My friends and their relationships
These days
They only make love in their pockets
Leaving their touch to be cold
Can't you see us laughing?
We're right in front of you.

Asprin Advice

Don't take your love for granted, because it can drift away. You've got to fight for what you want and keep your head above the water or else you'll drown. Take it from me: I never saw it coming, but now I have no home. I thought I was smart, but I really should have known.

Scab

You've been there for years just growing older and weaker on the inside, yet you attempt to project a level of solidity that we both know you're aren't capable of. Most days I wish I never skinned my knee, but family is family and what's done is done. They go hand in hand. You may be a father but you're no longer a dad, one day I'm going to pull off this scab and be glad I had.

Empty Lights

It's okay to feel stuck in places, I feel stuck too
Sometimes the night never ends
And the streets always bend.

Paper Tramp

Paper tramp, you've spilled on the pages
But you don't mean a goddamn thing to anyone
That's worth paying the attention you crave.