A Tune So Blue

Once I watched a snowflake drop from the sky
Onto a girl I danced with in 7th grade
She wore a pink scarf that wasn't wrapped very tightly
And had eyes that could burn a hole in your heart
I loved her slightly until she spoke
Because her words were too smart for my tiny, cute brain
So I just wished that she would bat her eyelashes at me
And that she never danced with me out of pity.
But some things can't be changed,
Like the fact that I was born in Connecticut or so young and stupid
I like to think that if I knew then what I know now
That I would’ve been fantastic
But let's face it, I'll always have been the one sitting in the corner crying in your high school's gym.

Rejoice!

Drunk and stumbling I can see so clearly
The people around me are living purely to live
Puking their fucking guts out in words and vomit
I crawl under bridges hours away to escape familiar faces
Speaking words to strangers who wish for me to walk away
And silence myself.
I wish I could ignore them, I wish they were nothing.
But they're everything and my face turns red and I look down at my stomach
They see me as skinny but I feel like a blimp
Naked and exposed, and hairy in all the wrong places
"Keep breathing, stop sinking into a sea of misery and loss"
Fuck my brain, it knows nothing about me
My insides have never been introduced to my outsides
I wish I could feel perfect, sexy and desirable
But I am just awake with circles under my eyes
I’ve been yelling for days, trying to drive everyone around me
In their cars to go somewhere far like Alaska
So I can finally be just as I feel
Alone, cold and the ugliest human being every conceived.