Rejoice!

Drunk and stumbling I can see so clearly
The people around me are living purely to live
Puking their fucking guts out in words and vomit
I crawl under bridges hours away to escape familiar faces
Speaking words to strangers who wish for me to walk away
And silence myself.
I wish I could ignore them, I wish they were nothing.
But they're everything and my face turns red and I look down at my stomach
They see me as skinny but I feel like a blimp
Naked and exposed, and hairy in all the wrong places
"Keep breathing, stop sinking into a sea of misery and loss"
Fuck my brain, it knows nothing about me
My insides have never been introduced to my outsides
I wish I could feel perfect, sexy and desirable
But I am just awake with circles under my eyes
I’ve been yelling for days, trying to drive everyone around me
In their cars to go somewhere far like Alaska
So I can finally be just as I feel
Alone, cold and the ugliest human being every conceived.