Sirs & Madams

I needed to take a chance
On an old pipe dream
So I packed up my whole life
But not for the first time
And I made my way there
Travels bring hurdles
And hurdles make some fine scars.

Z

Retire into beds
Into nothingness
A relationship with words coming to an end
Maybe it can dress up as something new and become attractive once more
But now
It is simply 'goodbye'.

Y

You can carry me past the daggers that people stare my way
And then I might just
Glance
Sometimes when I look at you I think how I don't know you at all
And other times I know I could probably be your biographer
Maybe I've made up the facts, but I've been underlining all the good parts
It's my secret book
Hidden under layers of bedroom sheets and mattresses
Or guilt and shame
If you ever found it you'd realize how I really see you
And I wouldn't dare ever be that exposed
Like some throwaway trashed out novelty
Four photographs for a dollar
At the antique shop in that part of town
People only drive through some of the time.

X

Thought I saw your face on somebody else
Could be that
Worthlessness
Has a specific look
I'd ask how you are, but I really don't care.

W

Dear sir,
I thought about writing this down
And burying it with your grave
But I don't know where that is
I hope it's under an apple tree
I wanted you to know
That I believe you'd meet me for a drink
And we could laugh about
Well...
Everything.
Yours,
Friend.

V

I remember sneaking through your window for sex late one night
I crawled through the phone earlier to warn you I was coming over
You told me to be quiet when shutting my car door
But I forgot and the kids woke up
I didn't care
I decided to go to sleep instead
Right next to you
Where it was warm.

U

I need self-help
From myself
But sadly, I am not
Well versed in the subject.

T

Hip, hip
It's hard to stay hip
When you're lost in a crowd for days
Click, click
Everybody's got their cliques
Sniffing drugs or drinking when they wake
It's a mistake!
Or haven't you heard
That you drove your friends away
Needed help, pass them a sip
It worked for you, it can work for them too
Why talk, why communicate at all
Aren't we all just having a blast getting fucked up
On Tuesday mornings?

S

There is a chance that the world may end any day now
And that is scary.

R

I want to touch you
But the glass will not allow it
& I want to kiss you
But there is an open sign where your face should be
I miss you madly
When will you finally close?

Q

We can't
Act natural
Just because
Circumstance
Tells us to
I surrender
I surrender
I am a white flag
Or the tail between
Your legs.

P

There is nowhere
For my head to rest
And my baby
She needs only the best
But I can't give it to her
No
Can't even give a little to myself
I've run out
I've run dry
No couch, no floor
No way, friend
No dogs allowed.

O

I'd like to think I can count on you
Or maybe I'm starting to start getting there
I really don't want to get let down
So don't let me fall into that scene.

N

Ignore one vice for another:
Fair enough.

M

I never expected the seasons to change
And for your leaves to switch colours
But as long as your branches dance in the wind, honey
I will watch you for hours.

L

Your hair is from the 70's
And your style from the 80's
You love nostalgia from the 90's
And your tasteless personality is straight from today.

K

Why don't you ever
Speak English?

J

Feet to ground
I'm Midwest bound!

I

Babe is like paper
And while others would leave their mark
And toss you aside
I will leave impressions
And keep you in my pocket.

H

Chapter 1.

I built these hands one finger at a time
While drifting endlessly in the distorted lushness of the limbo-like surroundings
They engulf me and rip out my angel wings
Right off of my back
And the blood drips past the cracks
And the blood drips down to my toes
Who will be there to clean up the mess we've made?
Why create the wounds if there is no tongue to clean them
And why break the skin if it refuses to mend
The dirt in your bath water will drown us both in no time flat.

Chapter 2.

There are no more wild horses
Because we burned down the forest
RUN AWAY, children
RUN as fast as you can.

Chapter 3.

Denial isn't a river, it's a well in my back yard
I've been running the tap
And boiling my water
The answer has been there for years and yet
I suffer every day.

G

We can play by your rules
If we play by mine too
You try to end the routine on top
But I came out on top too.

F

I still get high to answer all of my questions
To break a leg
Out in the world
Getting older every single day
Just want
A break to the pattern
That has got a hold on me
It strangles my neck
It's fucking killing me.

(oops, I've already missed a day. here's 2.)

E

I'm a stranger to all of my old friends
But that's okay
Because they're strangers to me too.

D

What we share
Cannot be shared
Beyond just you and me
So why can't we share
Why do you stare
When you should
Eat your words, eat the rainbows
Share, share, share.

C

What have you done?
And what are you doing?

B

New ways to be violent
But no new ways
To be friends
It's either give or take
But never
A little of each
It's awfully hard to
Keep
The balance.

A

Every time I sit
Under the moon's tongue
I feel real nice
And a little bit free
Like a stagecoach and horse
On it's way
To Camelot.

(today begins the 26 day "alphabet fishing", where I will write daily poems until the I reach "Z". all poems will be associated with a letter. I might not be able to post every day due to limited internet access next week, but I will still write and catch up. do not fear!)

Sold Souls

Lips get loose
While
Cigarettes slip past fingers
Clinging to death
Everybody holds hands
While their faces are against
The screen door on the front porch
Of a funeral home.

I Have Succeeded In Breaking Your Heart

Jump off rooftops
In your autumn sweater
Think quick: don't fall
Your legs will break upon impact
You're so off
This has nothing to do
With anything
Or anyone
Just off rooftops
Not to conclusions.

Fade Away / Come Closer

There's too much space
Where there was once a mirror image
Against my hips
Marijuana nights locked up tight inside
Prison bedsheets
Hasn't been fun in a long time
It's a dead scene
And the calendar month
Promises to be the hardest yet
Though the next one
Has plenty of sun
And I plan on getting sunburned.

Drugs

There we are
My eyes are like rainbows
That dry damp into the summer air
No more snow, no more greys
Just me and the girl
In the tall, tall grass
She has strawberry nipples
And a smile like fingers in a creek
She is my passenger
With hair in the wind
In a car
Running on tired legs
It's medicine is too much
Got to go to a fruit tree
A fruit tree I grew with the seeds in my pocket.

Women of the World

All of the women
I used to know
Have new last names
Or are pregnant
While I sit here with the same last name
And an empty stomach.

Strugglin'

The suitcase is packed
But our wallets are empty
Everybody do the struggle
Do it all damn night
The car is full of boxes
But the tank is almost on empty
It's a struggle
To leave the driveway
Let alone the coast.

Housewarming In Reverse

You betrayed me by moving away
But the truth is
I'd do it if I could
First.

Make Friends With Bees

Everybody go ahead
Go ahead and make
Make friends with bees
That way you don't get stung.
And then you can have some fun.
Don't steal their honey
Don't swat them away
Just give them lots of tiny hugs
Hugs for bugs.
You can scrape your knees
And everyone will say
"You can see he's
Made friends with bees."
King of bees?
Oh, please.

Menstrual Blood

Sugar, how hard it is to
Stay mad at you & your
Menstrual blood
When I look into your pretty, pretty eyes.

I'm lonesome. I'm lonesome all the time.

Collect the tickets and tell everyone
I'm going to put on a show.
Gather all the water, kid
And let it engulf my lungs.
I should say goodbye to many things
Women, art and oxygen
And hope the best with what's left over
Dreaming
Hoping
I'm lonesome.
I'm lonesome all the time.
Take me to my muse and bury me
Inside her, my killer
Yeah
Bury me at sea
And that'll be the last of me.

{for dennis}

Death Metal

Darling mountain
Sweet little hill
My legs climbed past rainbows and jagged trees
Bleeding, broken branches in my feet
Watermelon seeds in my heart
Organs pumping past foreign mysteries
I've been to the top before
But this one is much higher in the air.

Drunk Drunk Kiss Kiss Smile Smile

Whenever I get to see you
It's like staring into the sun
(The good kind I mean)
One time you were drunk and you kissed me on the lips
And I couldn't tell if it was an accident or if it was on purpose
I really hoped you wanted it because it felt really
Warm - Soft - Moist - Perfect
Even though it tasted like cheap beer and exhaustion.
After you did it, I debated if I should pull you in and just lay it all out
Let you know that I want to make a career of kissing you on the lips
And maybe in a couple of years I could get promoted
Which could mean that you wouldn't be drunk or that I'd get to touch you places
But I just waved goodbye when you stopped
And now we live on different coasts.

Hiding Place

Hey, hey, hey
How have you been?
I miss your face
Let's plant some seeds
And hold hands while we walk into the ocean
To wash the past away
And maybe possibly drown in the current.

Ahem, Amen

Dear [name],

Your face just isn't the same:
Your skin is melting
And your eyes are vintage snapshots
Your mouth is a projection screen
With a film I loaded up back in the seventies
Grainy fluff, lip synced scripting and sloppy blocking
Open up:
Eat rainbows
Cough colours
Choke bright
Don't die.

Forever,

[brown hair, blue eyes, 5"10, sexual, hand holding, friendship, charade]

Once I prayed to a cloud, and then took it back when it rained.

The scene:
2AM on the worst day of your life
The streets smell of stale sex and murder
It's raining; the drops hit your skin like falling ashes
The sky is on fire
The lake is on fire
Your eyes are on fire.
Up ahead there is a car crash
It's passengers were fucking in the backseat
Of a vehicle with no driver
They're dead
You're probably dead
This is the worst day of your life.

Blood

You should take breaths in between talking about yourself.

{recently unearthed and changed up a bit, originally written circa 2002.}